Last month I talked about River Rafting and what it has to teach us about moving faster than the stream to navigate the water, and that the way to get moving faster is with support.
This month I want to talk about how to change patterns and to get us started I’m going to share a rather startling experience I had this last weekend.
Shake It Up Baby!
Patterns are what control most of actions. We’re fairly well conditioned by age 11 and for most of us, we aren’t acting out of choice, but out of habit, patterns or conditioning.
Ever have that feeling you’re headed for a fall or crash but can’t seem to avoid it? That’s the work of patterning.
So how do you get out of patterning? Well you have to shake things up a bit. You have to give that conditioning some new options. And I’m going to talk about that some more later this week.
A Shake Up is what happened to me this last weekend as I was executing a simple Fall task, placing leaf netting beneath my Japanese Maple, atop my pond. But fortunately for me, despite the shake up, some patterning that I had intentionally put in place, came in handy.
On moment I was bending down to straighten the net over the dark water and the next I was falling, face first towards the surface of the pond.
Time slowed as I felt my hand hit and dunk beneath the top of the dark water, as if I expected it to brace my fall.
Then muscle memory kicked in. I’ve practiced falling into moving water, river rafting so that I would flip and ride the rapids down on my back. All it took was for my hand to hit the cold, wet of the pond and I began to twist so when I came to rest, it was my tail end that was on the bottom of the pond and my face was above the surface.
And good thing too. Because I was so surprised, I had begun to shout out and if my body hadn’t reacted, I would have been swallowing a big mouthful of dark green water!
For several moments I just sat and floated in the pond. My son kept asking me, “are you OK”, “are you OK”? and finally I burst out laughing; the whole thing was just so silly.
Isaac gave me a hand out across the slippery rocks at the pond’s edge.
As I stood dripping: cold, wet and laughing I was so thankful for my body’s patterned response. After a hot shower, I began to think about something a client said to me recently. He had called me for some couple’s coaching after a particularly nice date with his wife.
He said that both he and his wife wanted to work on skills, just as I had with my river rafting, so those skills were patterned into place if they came upon a more stressful time.
When I find myself experiencing something I don’t like, I try to remember that this is the perfect time to become aware, make a new choice or intention, and experiment with new actions: shake it up a bit, create room for a new pattern.
Easier, however, is to practice new patterns I want in place should I find need for them during a shake up I didn’t consciously plan.
You might be interested in no-charge teleclass this week, What’s Holding You Back? Bring a willingness for a new awareness around an issue you’d like to overcome and we’ll get busy changing any pattern that is keeping that issue stuck in place.
Please share your own stories of patterns you’ve overcome and how you overcame them below.
This week, my Getting To YES, Now! course begins and I’d like to share what I’m learning from those who have been attending the introductory calls.
Yes, I’ve been learning! I’m so impressed by those of good heart and soul, who really want to do more than just get through their work day and activities. I’m in awe of those who come to the calls and share their desire to feel really good, really connected with those they serve, strong in their knowledge of their industry.
So much is emphasized about those that are trying to work as little as possible for as much return as possible, or who want to take and get away. But here I am in the circle of amazing people in their field who want more, for themselves and their clients. They want to feel good about what they offer and they want their clients to feel good whether they say “yes” or “no”. Simply amazing, isn’t it?
So here’s what I’m learning from my “students”:
Fear is just the flip side of Desire, desire to feel good and create a space for your client to feel good.
Some people feel good talking to people they don’t know, more than those they do (something to pay attention to yourself if you talk to people on the phone, how do they feel about it?).
Spending time thinking about how I want to feel and who I want to be, before I ever pick up the phone, is going to affect my voice, my energy, and of course, my success. It’s worth the preparation.
There’s more of course, but I think I’ll say some and update you all as the weeks go by.
Hope you’re enjoying the winter activities,
P.S. It’s too late to sign up for Getting To YES, Now! but I’ll be offering an 8-week course, BEING Your Own Solution, starting in February. If you want to experience changes, those changes must start inside first. Do you know how to change on the inside?
I’ve been hearing this, “I wish I could afford coaching”, recently from quite a few people with whom I’ve connected, here at year’s end.
I understand the sentiment; I coach myself daily and I consider regular one-on-one coaching for myself a necessary investment, both in time and money, for the health and wealth of my family, business, and personal expansion.
I also empathize with the budgetary concerns; if money is spent, it has to serve the “bottom line”, right?
Well, here’s my idea of the “good news” about coaching. Any coaching that is participated in, with commitment, intention and desire is going to have a constructive effect, and not in just one area, but all. That means that coaching for relationships will help your business. And business coaching is sure to help grow your inner being.
Coaching doesn’t have to be demanding or expensive. Coaching can take the form of something as small as a reminder to pause, and be clear before proceeding with an action, or as large and long as a year long, every-week-with-homework-type program. It can be private and independently pursued choosing from available resources, or it can be very involved with a teacher/mentor or group of like-intentioned individuals.
It’s really just our Inner Critic, the Ego Chatter Voice, that tends to belittle our smaller, baby-steps. Sometimes, it’s the smaller, bite-sized steps that can actually have the most impact, especially when each step is used like stepping stones, giving us the support we require as we proceed along our way.
So here are some quick ideas I have for you, if you’re feeling that you wish you could afford some coaching.
First, get in touch with what you wish coaching could “do for you”, why you wish you had some coaching, first thing that pops into your mind. Then look below and see if one of these ideas fits what you need:
I think you might agree that there is a lot of really good content out there, coaching tips, tricks, and information…and for free. Enhance that information by finding something that appeals to you, and as you read about it, imagine that the person who wrote about it in their blog was meeting with you alone and sharing that information. Make it real in your imagination.
Hear their voice, see them in your mind. If it’s a video you’re watching, imagine that they had “Skyped” you and you were watching them live. If it’s a recording, imagine you were listening to them on your phone. If you’re reading their information, imagine they wrote it just for you, a letter or e-mail perhaps. Imagine that you agreed to try what they suggested and check back in with them as to your results.
Try a fun experiment; write down something you’d like coaching around and then go about your day the way you would. Only, on this particular day, listen to what people say to you, watch for messages and clues, see if you don’t feel something different than usual, that you can interpret as a personal “coaching” message directly related to the topic you wanted guidance around. If you have an experience, you have some question about, write about it here and I’ll help you interpret the information.
Go to someone you know and trust and ask them what they would do if they were in a particular situation (the situation you want some guidance around). Don’t ask them what you should do. Ask them what they would do, or what they have done in the past. Make a note of anything that stands out, that appeals to you, that you might like to try. And if you really want to play, keep some notes about how that helped you later in that situation.
Find one of the blog posts or book posts here at Partnering With the Sacred, that you like and write about how that pertains to your life and ask any question you like. I’m happy to support you here on the site (and I’ll bet it will help others too, another benefit).
Finally, invest in yourself at what ever level you are able and comfortable. Take a free or introductory course, but really take it. Listen to the information as if it were a high level expert giving you golden information and apply that information. Or take a shorter or smaller class and again, apply it. Soon you’ll be taking larger, longer, and more involved classes easily, using the insight and information you gain at each step along the way, gaining ever-better results.
Happy New Year,
P.S. I have a very special topic, specially-priced, class to kick off the New Year and help you affect your “bottom line” immediately. Check out Getting to YES, Now! Early-bird discount expires this weekend.
My sweet little dog, China, part of our current herd, had an awakening last week, courtesy of the neighborhood pond and a slippery bridge.
Just as the iconic woman who’s bucket broke leaving a puddle that mirrored the image of the moon, evoking her enlightenment, China, the Chihuahua, leaped from the slippery bridge toward what looked like a lawn, but was actually a small pool of the much larger pond, covered in duckweed to meet, not solid ground, but a swim or sink situation.
She wasn’t harmed. I immediately kicked off shoes, ran around to where I could wade in, if necessary, and urged her to the side where I scooped her up.
She was wet. She was smelly. She had duckweed and pond goo everywhere, and I do mean everywhere. Yet after a warm and lengthy bath she ran around the house in what I can only describe as complete abandon and glee.
Was it the rush of survival? The overcoming of fear? The pride of conquering?
Who’s to say? But as I watched her prance and yip and grin, yes grin…I thought to myself, “has China had an awakening moment?”
I’m fond of saying that the most precious, ecstatic, challenging and triumphant moments can happen among the every day happenings of life. And I think my funny little dog, China, proved that again.
I like the analogy of the slippery bridge and the duckweed’s illusion of solid ground. And I like that China’s mistake, leaping for what she thought would ground her, was not her undoing at all, but led to a true victory!
So I’m throwing this question out, and considering it for myself as well. What is your “slippery bridge”? Is there something you find yourself mistaking for something else, throwing yourself in that direction? Or have you fallen into something and now you’re swimming like mad to get yourself out?
In case you are finding yourself in a slippery, or uncertain place in regard to your relationships with your potential clients, might I offer you check out my upcoming class, Getting To Yes, Now? Over 4 weeks, we’ll be exploring the idea, that each of us must find a “yes” inside to hear “yes” from others on the outside; and how to get to that “yes”, both inside and out.
China, the Chihuahua, made a splash, both literally and figuratively, and turned a frightening and stressful experience into joy and delight. I believe we can all do that, at any time.
So if you feel moved, come join me in January as we do just that; turn out experiences “in the pond” with our potential clients, into triumphs.
Have a great week as we head into the season of Celebration and Light.
Two weeks ago Mark presented some ideas about how to tame the e-mail inbox situation and I felt some real resistance to his suggestions rise “I’ve been doing e-mail the same old way, changing will take time”…yada yada yada).
But I’ve learned a thing or two about myself (just enough to know there’s plenty more to explore) and the bonafide opportunity presented when resistance, that argumentative, reluctant, critical-mind feeling, shows itself.
So, eyes open and awake, I practiced Mark’s suggestions as diligently as I could for two weeks and guess what? I really liked the results! I’ve even adopted his suggestions as my current strategy.
And there’s the gift in the feeling of resistance. For me, it was a signpost that this might be a place to take a scenic detour, that I might like what I would find, even though the mind game was “don’t change a thing”. And look, I did like it! What an opportunity.
See, I think Resistance gets a bad rap. I’ve found if I use that reluctant, “fold-my=arms” “I-don’t-wanna” thing as guidance, rather than impediment, I get all kinds of goodies; from an opportunity to try something new that might prove “better”, to a chance to forgive or heal something from my past, to clarity about what I really do want.
I’m feeling inspired to name Resistance as a new “best friend”, one who waves a big flag whenever the opportunity to change arises. There may be times I choose “no” but there may be many changes that lead me closer and closer to what I’m really wanting my life to be all about.
So stop, go, stop…go, go, go!
P.S. I have a class beginning in January 2011 to explore the reluctance to make cold calls and appointments. Want to know more? I’ll be announcing the class in one week.
Join me as I speak with Carolyn Wilson-Elliott, DD, MSLC, CEO Quantum Spirit International, expert in energy management, about why we sometimes find change so very difficult, and what we can do to speed and ease the process.
Click the videos below to listen and enjoy!
You can take action night and day, but unless you have this one detail cared for, you won’t get anywhere. Join me as I speak with one of my mentors, Darel Rutherford, author of Being the Solution, about the BE before DO.
Click below to listen and enjoy!