Advanced Communication Skills

The Power of Ethical Persuasion: Winning Through Understanding at Work and at Home

Tom Rusk MD

Want to be a pro at communication. This is the one book to study then.

This book in my life coincided with the end of my marriage and the beginning of a new set of skills when it came to constructive communication. Up to that point, all the tools I’d learned, in books, seminars and workshops, had focused on processes that two people could use together.

But what if one person didn’t want to work together for a better understanding? What if one person had a different agenda; maybe winning, control, agreement?

This book put the power (and responsibility) back into my hands to make proactive changes in my life and negotiate those out.

This book takes Marshall Rosenberg’s work of Compassionate Communication and broadens, and intensifies it.

I went through quite a few communication books and this is the one that “saved me” when I couldn’t “save my marriage”.

The Secret to Receiving the Love You Want

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

By Gary Chapman

Thank you, thank you Gary Chapman, for writing this book (and all the spinoffs to this book).

Here’s the basic premise of this book. We each have a way that we like to have “love” expressed to us. Maybe we like it when someone really listens to us. Or maybe we like to share activities, quality time, with someone. And that says “love” to us.

But what happens when a person who likes to be listened to, listens to a person who likes to share activities? Then there’s a good chance neither feels loved and both feel their demonstrations of love are discounted or rejected.

It’s not just our partners this can happen with. It happens with our children, parents, co-workers, clients too.

I found this book a real eye opener and I have recommended it many times to clients who want to feel closer to their children or partners. I’ve gotten rave reviews every time.

If You Can Only Buy One Book

Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life

Marshall B. Rosenberg

If you can only buy one book to help you in a practical way, with your relationships in life, this is the one. Marshall Rosenberg, in his audio workshop on Nonviolent Communication, admits to having regrets about choosing the name for his work. He said he really doesn’t a name that says what it isn’t.

I understand. And I understand why he did call his work “Nonviolent” communication. Think about it. So much of our communications spark upsetting feelings because the method of communication is inherently flawed.

Marshall teaches us how to speak to one another (and for those of you who fancy yourselves advanced students, I dare you to regale me with stories of how you used NVC on your own self talk) in a completely different way than anything we were raised with in our homes and institutions.

I’ve been a student of his work for 16 years (the age of my daughter) and I’ve only scratched the surface. I miss the mark many times. But it’s so worth the practice. And the payoff comes in peace, peace of mind, intimacy, and trust of myself and others.

Couple this work with Forgiveness work (see Colin Tipping’s Radical Forgiveness) and the idea of making amends when you’ve made a mistake…and we truly could change our world in a heart beat.